My First Blog Post

Be yourself; Everyone else is already taken.

— Oscar Wilde.

This is the first post on my new blog. I’m just getting this new blog going, so stay tuned for more. Subscribe below to get notified when I post new updates.

Back to work…. for now.

I am dreading going back to work tomorrow.

Aside from still being sick and feeling like shit, I am finding that my tolerance for the drama at work is dwindling.

My goal for the next six months to a year is to decide on a career change and start taking the steps to make it a reality. I have been brainstorming for several months and it is exciting to think about! I think I need to start a side hustle that I think I may enjoy. If it works out, maybe transition to a full time gig. Who knows. The possibilities are endless!

The traditional work schedule provides stability and I am grateful for that. However, I think it is time to make a leap.

Finding joy…

I used to write all the time. In journals, blogs, forums, etc. At some point I stopped completely. Not sure why.

I am feeling the urge to write again, so here I am.

I’ve been having a lot of anxiety and a lot of nightmares. The other night I had a nightmare where my dad was dying. Not just sick like he is now, but actively dying. In the nightmare I was constantly crying. I kept waking up crying. I would go back to sleep, only to slip back into the same nightmare. In the morning I woke up physically sick and mentally exhausted.

I have been home from work for the last 3 days with a fever and sore throat. Idle hands are never good for me. Too much time to think.

Lately I have not been able to stop thinking about time. It feels like I am always running out of time. If I were to die tomorrow, would I be happy about how I spent today? On the days that I ask myself this question, the answer is usually no.

How do I get off this treadmill? I wouldn’t say I hate my job, but it certainly does not bring me joy.

I am working on finding my joy. I don’t want to regret how I spent my life like so many people do.